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The quadratic complexity of full attention limits efficient long-context processing in large language models (LLMs). Sparse attention mitigates this cost by restricting each query to attend to a subset of previous tokens; however, training-free approaches often lead to severe performance degradation. Native sparse-attention methods (e.g., NSA, MoBA) alleviate this issue, yet exhibit a critical paradox: they produce lower attention sparsity than full-attention models, despite aiming to approximate full attention, which may constrain their effectiveness. We attribute this paradox to gradient update deficiency: low-ranked key-value pairs excluded during sparse training receive neither forward contribution nor backward gradients, and thus never learn proper suppression. To overcome this limitation, we propose SSA (Sparse Sparse Attention), a unified training framework that considers both sparse and full attention and enforces bidirectional alignment at every layer. This design preserves gradient flow to all tokens while explicitly encouraging sparse-attention outputs to align with their full-attention counterparts, thereby promoting stronger sparsity. As a result, SSA achieves state-of-the-art performance under both sparse and full attention inference across multiple commonsense benchmarks. Furthermore, SSA enables models to adapt smoothly to varying sparsity budgets; performance improves consistently as more tokens are allowed to attend, supporting flexible compute-performance trade-offs at inference time. Finally, we show that native sparse-attention training surprisingly improves long-context extrapolation by mitigating the over-allocation of attention values in sink areas, with SSA demonstrating the strongest extrapolation capability.